I lay hear after a very stressful but good night... me and liz had a great night and had a fun little photoshoot. So i came home and decided to try to find some photos i had taken of a sunset and edit them...what i found took me back to hundreds of great memories of friends who no longer exsist in my life.
Dont wake me is playing in my headm triggered extremely and i am in tears. Everything just went so wrong and many hurtful words were exchanged on both parts. Its so sad how one person who lives with you can turn people against each other for no apparant reason. 5+ years of friendship down the tubes because of her.
i miss them so much and feel so powerless in getting them back, but even if somehow we did become friends again it would never be the same "laugh till you cry for no reason" relationship..it would be tainted now. But i would still do anything in my powers to go back and change how everything happened.
God i miss them....their smiles, their jokes, their presence...now i am here alone. all i can do is pray that the lord shows me the reason why this has to be this way. i cant believe this is the best course that could have played out.
*do you know what it feels like to want to surrender*
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you know i am ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS just an email away hun, no matter what you're going through, i'm here for you *hugs*
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