Disciple's new album has me completely blown away...my favorite atm is
Invisible
You’ve got my attention
there’s no need to hurt yourself this way.
You think no one will notice
how you’re feeling when you cry yourself to sleep.
You feel stuck on the outside
looking inside
wishing this life wasn’t your life.
And you think you’re damaged way beyond repair.
Well, you’re not so far that I can’t get to where you are.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not invisible.
You’ve got my attention
there’s no need to hurt yourself this way.
You think no one will notice
how you’re feeling when you cry yourself to sleep.
You feel stuck on the outside
looking inside
wishing this life wasn’t your life.
And you think you’re damaged way beyond repair.
Well, you’re not so far that I can’t get to where you are.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not invisible.
im ready to listen
there’s no need to hold it all inside.
The smallest whisper, I hear it,
when your strength has all but died.
I need you to believe Me, can you trust Me,
that what you see is not what I see?
The reflection in the mirror’s telling lies.
‘Cause nothing you have done can change how much I love you.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces,
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not invisible.
(You’re not, you’re not invisible)
I can see you as you’re falling on your knees
you’re not invisible to Me.
You’re not invisible.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces,
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not, you’re not,
you’re not stranded on your own.
You’re not invisible.
You’re not invisible to Me.
You’re not invisible to Me.
there’s no need to hold it all inside.
The smallest whisper, I hear it,
when your strength has all but died.
I need you to believe Me, can you trust Me,
that what you see is not what I see?
The reflection in the mirror’s telling lies.
‘Cause nothing you have done can change how much I love you.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces,
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not invisible.
(You’re not, you’re not invisible)
I can see you as you’re falling on your knees
you’re not invisible to Me.
You’re not invisible.
You wish you were someone else,
every night you fall to pieces,
knowing you can’t save yourself.
I can see you, I can hear you.
There’s a place where the broken go,
there’s a room full of second chances.
You’re not stranded on your own--
you’re not, you’re not,
you’re not stranded on your own.
You’re not invisible.
You’re not invisible to Me.
You’re not invisible to Me.
i think partially because it speaks to me so much like "suicide"- by disciple did. it couldnt have come at a better time, i find myself looking to the past more than i should i have so many more "what ifs" (dear x is SO dead on on how i would like to be thinking) i got what i asked for...but i didnt want it to be a perminant thing...i didnt want to hurt her, i just thought this was best for me...and more so her. i got my cd back...but they also returned almost all of the meaningful thoughtful gifts id ever given her. This hurt. this is the first time ive felt crushed in this whole ordeal, yes i wanted my cd back...but i never thought she would give everything else back. and now they are sitting in a pile in my room. a reminder of how much effort i put into that relationship to have it all just given back in a plastic bag, worthless to her. Her final nail in the coffin, i apologized for saying (out of anger) that i wanted her out of my life when i ment we need a break from each other (which i cleared up the next day), but i guess she couldnt move on past that angry email. couldnt give any forgiveness. and today she verified,with that bag, that it was true...that she wishes she never met me >.>
I guess you have to be carefull what you ask for and how you ask for it. Yes we had our bad moments, but thats any relationship. Yes we both had changed, got jobs, and other responsibilties but hey thats life. I miss having someone to talk to about music, life, or absolutely nothing. she was the person that lead me to Christ, she was the one that was there to help me give up cutting, she was the one who was there both nights i almost ended my life to comfort me. God put her in my life for a reason and even though i dont think it was meant to end it has. And even though she hurt me, and near the end i hurt her...i am glad she was in my life for the short time she was, and saddened by how wrong everything went. i made a promise to her that i wouldnt give up on her...i still havent, but in doing what i thought needed to be done for her(but innitially doing it out of anger) she took it as me breaking that promise. She read that email and 100ft walls went up between her and i, and now shes trapped inside with self hate, no hope and no light to see that they are just holograms. all she has todo is reach out and touch the walls and they will come crumbling down, they are just an illusion her mind has created....an illusion the devil has created.
Im so lost and confused.
*do you know what it feels like to want to surrender*
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